Somewhere there is a college bar filled with...

Somewhere there is a college bar filled with handsome young men.

But, that bar certainly isn't on the UNH campus.

After a Saturday night out in Durham I came to the conclusion that most of the male, bar-going UNH population are a bunch of schlubs. Underdressed, backward hat wearing schlubs.

Let me explain "Schlub" to you.

If your idea of dressing up to go out includes any of the following, you are a schlub;

Boston Red Sox hat

Sports hat in general

Black North Face fleece jacket

anything camouflage print

jeans that don't cover your entire butt

if your underpants are showing

a hoodie of ANY kind, with any logo, print or otherwise

untied Timberland boots

The list could go on. But these were some of the glaring and galling examples from Saturday night.

Now, fellas, gather round, pull up a carpet square and listen intently.

You have to, at least, equal your female counterparts in the dressing department.

All the ladies put in quite a bit of effort to look lovely, well put together, and at the very least, presentable.

You, need to look better than you would if you were just going to class.

No ties or sock garters.

You need to step up your game.

Maybe tuck in your shirt and button it up to the second button from the top -- unless you have a mane of chest hair and gold chains on.

Wear jeans that fit. You are not in high school anymore.

Wear a sweater. The right sweater can compliment nicely a dark pair of straight-leg jeans.

Wear brown or black shoes -- just make sure your belt matches your shoes.

And SHAVE your face. If you don't have luxurious facial hair, you need to get rid of it. Trust me, I tried growing a fu manchu, and it was ugly. But, most importantly, it was gone quickly.

So, gents, try to stand out above your peers. There will always be enough schlubs around so that minimal effort of your part will stand out like a beacon of good and stylish taste.