i will always remember Roma...

Top, left: this theater was in the same block as our hotel.

top, center: the art is very lifelike here.

Top, right: outside Campadoglio.

middle, right: skeleton in cage, aka ignominous death.

bottom: diaramma that got some fourth grader in trouble, however, once again, very lifelike.

i will always remember Roma for alot of reasons.

i went to Cinecatta two weeks ago with a class trip. interestingly enough, i am not in that class and everyone else -except for one other student- decided not to go, therefore i successfully poached that trip.

i stayed in my first hostel in Roma. and the absolute vapidity of American youths was clearly arrayed to me and two Mexican globetrotting young ladies, Dianna and Brenda. the story goes like this;

- me: So Brenda and Dianna, from what you've seen in your travels, what do you think of American kids?

- Dianna: well, dont take this the wrong way, but we think that you all dont take things very seriously and dont have alot of responsiblity. we also have the image of the blonde party girl in our minds because of movies. and you probably think we all wear giant hats.

- me: no, we dont. well, not all of us. the uneducated few probably do...

- Brenda: but we have met alot of very nice people.

- me: yes, im sure your have. everybody is different though.

- both the girls: yes, certainly...

then about ten minutes later, two young american girls/students that were korean or something burst into the room; one heads to the bathroom and the other remains to ask us (me dianna and brenda). i will describe this younglady as she introduced herself: a grad student that is "screwed" b-c she decided to take off to Italy for a week vacation.

- Do you guys know if there's a dive bar around here?

- us: excuse us?

- you know, a place where you can just pound beers? you know, a dive bar?

- Dianna: no, im sorry we dont.

then dianna and brenda began speaking spanish between themselves, laughing uncontrolably and shot me a look. We were on the same page; i was ashamed that this dumb broad represented ME!

after they left, Dianna and Brenda and i chatted. i had to say that, truely, they did NOT respresent me. that we happened to both be american but other than that we were not cut from the same cloth.

i will also remember Roma for its timeless beauty, utterly choking traffic, throngs of tourists and humidity.

i walked from the Criminology Museum -which i was convinced was going to suck, but proved to be sufficiently grisly for the tastes of a desensitized american boy raised by action movies- to Piazza San Pietro. I followed Il Fiume Tevere, took pictures of ducks and their butts sticking up as they picked at the river grass. I arrived in Piazza San Pietro and saw it's splendor.

i saw more tourists than i ever thought possible. the piazza is choked with chairs and barriers, and flanked onthe sides, where the columns run around it, were tourists - speaking all different languages, wallwoing in sweat soaked clothes, looking generally shagged out.

i realized that bad taste knows no borders; at the entrance gates/barriers for the Basillica there are signs that pictiorially demonstrate what each sex may and maynot wear when insided the Vatican; skirts (ladies) and short (men) below the knee, sleeves to mid upper arm for both sexes.

as i walked away from the line - too long for my tastes- i saw a couple wallking toward me, both were young, good looking, probably on vacation and heading for the line. however, she was wearing a white sundress that was transparent. therefore clearly displaying the fact that she was wearing a white bra and thong underpants. AND YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING INTO THE VATICAN LIKE THAT?!!! for the love of all that is good and holy in Oden's beard, i hoped that they were not americans....

i will remember Roma for it's old stuff: i walked past the Forum, The Colloseum, and alot of other ruined stuff that looked like piles of rocks to me, but i am certainly not a historian. everywhere, piles of rocks, ruins, the past...

i will remember Roma for the Picasso exhibit i stumbled upon at the museum near Campadoglio. i poached a tour in the gallery - it was in italian however i undestood 70% of what the lady said.

i will remember Roma b-c i did not, repeat DID NOT, pay 8 dollars for a Coke. anyone that tells you that Roma and other cities are all expensive and built to bleed you dry, those are consumate, inveterate tourists. my suggestion to these people is this: get a map and take your own tour. i paid 3euro for a large Gelato, 4euro for a piece of pizza and a bottle of water, and Alex and i paid 10euro each for dinner (chinese food, yes that's right).

there were no 5euro .5liter Cokes, 15euro Gelati, or 12euro cocktails. maybe it was b-c i ordered (and made small take in italian with those people that served me) or maybe it was b-c i didnt buy things the were within spitting distance from the biggest tourist attractions in the western world. maybe, maybe not, you decide.

however, the foremost image of Roma will always be the homeless man's genitals that were not haphazardly hanging out of his pants but were on display for everyone to see.

Benvenuti a Roma.