Overheard in the mall and in theory

There are so many great things about overhearing things said between other people. Some of the things that I think make these small intrusions in to other people's lives and conversations great are: you have no idea what the context of the entire conversation is, you don't know what the relationship between the two people is, you don't know what brought about the comment, and best of all you have to try not to laugh out loud when you hear a good one.

I am writing about this because I heard a couple good ones last night when I was out and about in the breathtaking Fox Run Mall in scenic Newington, NH.

The first one was -presumably- between a mom and her daughter (remember the relationship rule):
- Mom: Well, we can cross that off our list. What's next?
- Daughter: I kind of hungry.
- Mom: Ok. Want to go the Lindt Candy [Chocolate] store, make a meal out of it?
--------- The best part of this one, for me, was that I didn't quite hear and understand the word "Lindt", but did hear the word "candy". I first thought that this was the best mom ever, but then I walked passed the Lindt Store and was able to put two-and-two together. Then I tried to find that lady again to see if she was in a fufilling marriage because a woman like that is truely one in a million.-----------

The second one of the evening was said between two young fellows, maybe mid-twenties, collage-ish kids, looking generally unkempt and well... American.
There was no follow-up or response. It was just a one-liner.
- Dude: Uhh... My pelvic girdle!
----------I don't even know where to go with that one! What was more surprising to me was that he knew what a 'pelvic girdle'!--------


I love when you overhear things, especially when the comments and snippets are not mundane crap like, "Oh my gosh! I was so drunk last night".

I don't think that "Overheards" could be considered eavesdropping or being nosy. The general trend is that something occurs -either externally or internally- to break your attention from whatever you are doing at precisely the right momment that the guy next to you is saying something hairbrained. In the same way that a room full of people always becomes serediptiously silent when you fart or swear, redirecting all the attention to you for very wrong reasons.

Now, one thing I must caution you about is fools like me and some of my knuckleheaded friends. As a malicious and juvenile habit in highschool, we would select a mark - usually the vice-principal - and try to say the foulest, filthiest things we could think of when he was within earshotof us. This, as I said, that you must watch out for because you will not experience the essence of overhearing people. This is you being played by some truely sick people, played like a fool with a winning lottery ticket by an expert con-man.

Use this knowledge to your advantage. However, I urge you to use this knowledge as a two way street. Not only should you keep your ears open for these comic gems that happen all around you, but also you should try to play someone once in a while.

For instance, as you are walking down the sidewalk with a friend, mark someone that is walking toward you. As they are a few paces in front of you, say some thing totally outlandish. I can not give you advice or suggestions as to what you should say, but make sure it's worth it, cockamamey and absurd.

If you suceed, know that you might have just baffled someone's curcuits, which is truely a superlative feeling.